Phone Booth

The people we are when we begin a relationship are not the ones we become within it.

I have, since I was a little girl, always thought of myself as somewhat of a superhero. I was an only child who wiled away Saturdays and summer vacations exploring the breadth, depth and width of my own imagination. Often with a pillow case tied around my neck, pretending to “fly” around the backyard.

My mother raised me with the instilled knowledge that I was capable of anything and everything.  She said that the only reason people don’t do amazing things is because they fail to believe they can.  And that I should never make that mistake myself.

To the young brain encased in that chaos of  white-blond ringlets, being able to do pretty much anything equaled having super powers.

Mum once bought me white patent leather go-go boots to wear with some hideous dress she was determined to put me in for one of the High Holidays and I promptly found a magic marker and attempted to color them black.

Because all the female superheros I knew of had black boots.

My reward was a pair of truly crappy looking boots and a vigorous spanking. For a woman with one good arm, let me tell you, she sure could dish out one hell of a punishment.

Anyway, back then in the realm of my own mind I was Super.  And now in my forty-something mind I am still.  I have Super Powers.  Sometimes I use them for good. Sometimes I don’t ; )

I have always thought of the men in my life as Phone Booths.  Remember how Clark Kent used to dash into the phone booth and Superman would come out?

Men are my Phone Booths.

Usually what happens is, a strong, feisty, blazingly empowered, open hearted woman full of verve and hope goes in and after time passes, a lesser, dimmer version of that woman steps out, tired, bewildered and nursing a broken heart.

Once or twice that strong, feisty, blazingly empowered, open hearted woman has gone in and the woman who emerged was a hollow, wounded, lost, broken soul.

Up until now, the Phone Booths have drained my power. I went in Super. I came out small.

Fortunately, the effects were never permanent and I was back to full power before too long. I did, however, come to be very leery of Phone Booths nonetheless.

This time though….this Phone Booth is different.

I went in a woman who guarded her heart the way one would cradle and protect a broken arm that had just come out of a cast.

I went in a woman who thought love was for other people now, not her.

I went in a woman who saw in neutral colors and who clung to symmetry and perfectionism as if they were armor.

I went in a woman who had begun to buy in to the notion that perhaps she was in fact not enough.

But this man is more than a mere Phone Booth; he is a Hero himself. Swooping down from the sky (literally) and saving lives with his strong,  steady hands. He may not have a cape, but he does have a sexy green flight suit.

And let’s face it, helicopter rotors and capes don’t really play well together anyway, so…

Seriously though, I am not the same woman who began this relationship. Not even close.

Perhaps in his safe, sure embrace I am able to shed the layers of street clothes that life has shucked upon my shoulders over the years and bare the glittering, hot pink “S” on my chest once and for all. Or perhaps it is his own Super Heroic nature that nurtures, and calls to, my own.

I am now a woman with a gleam in her eyes. Just like the one I had when I was tearing around my back yard with a pillow case tied around my neck and my arms outstretched like wings.

I am now a woman whose heart is so open and full of love that sometimes I’m overwhelmed with it to the point of tears.

I am now a woman who craves bright color and embraces the imperfect, the unfinished and the ever changing.

I am now a woman who will never EVER give so much as one synaptic firing to the thought that I am not enough again. Because I am. More than enough actually.

In this Phone Booth, I become Super Zoe.

Like I told you. He saves people.

He saved me.

 

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Leaving on a Jet Plane

Well, it’s finally here…VACATION!

This time tomorrow I’ll be in the air, on my way to warm, (hopefully) sunny Cozumel Meh-hico for a week with the love of my life.

Suffice to say, I’m more than a little excited.

I don’t know about you, but to me the point of vacation is sort of not to plan. To chillax, to explore, to have a new adventure;  to go where the experience takes you.

So I gave a lot of thought to whether or not my planner would come on vacay with me.

I’m still loving the Veronica, but I have to admit…she’s a big girl. And realistically, in a world of flight tracking apps, Google calendars and journaling tools (a cool one I found for the iPad, and hope to use to chronicle my trip, is called Day One), am I really going to need 1.125″ of 2 pages per day with me while I lounge on the beach?

Oh hells no.

But…I’m also a Type Capital-A, OCD-riddled, planner junkie. No way I can go anywhere or do anything totally sans planner! There isn’t enough tequila in the world to make that happen.

Solution?

I resurrected one of my Compacts.

this size happens to make a great mini-planner and travel wallet

pink finsbury compact. skinny – the anti Veronica ; )

Sadly, because Compacts are so…well…compact, FC inserts won’t work. They stick out so insanely far, even someone who isn’t  neurotic would tweak.

Determined to stick to FC inserts these days, pretty much no matter what, I trimmed down some Franklin Covey 2012 Her Point of View weekly inserts I had lying around from an old “can I trim FC stuff to fit FF without going mad and/or ending up with an epic fail” experiment, and loaded them up.

trimmed, these babies fit perfectly, and add a nice festive touch of color

i did copy my schedule from october 1st to present, but not my to-do’s. won’t be needing those where i’m going!

Other than the July – Dec 2012 monthly tabs and Oct – Dec weekly inserts, the rest of the planner is just filled with lined paper.

…”dear diary, my bf looks so dreamy in his spedo…” (bahahahaha)

On the day slots, I will no doubt take down where we went, what we did, etc so that when we get home I can elaborate on that for my journal. I can’t imagine I’ll do much else, other than take the occasional note or jot down key phrases I want to remember, like “Una cerveza, por favor” or “Dónde está el baño?” or possibly “No puedo encontrar mi hotel….”

More than likely I won’t even use the thing, but you know me, I have to have something planneresque with me, so this is what it’s gonna be.

Anyway, I hope to blog while I’m away…but no promises. Ideally, I hope to post a little bit of interestingness (quite possibly drunkenness will be more accurate an assessment) every night, so stay tuned to this space for, at the very least, a chuckle or two.

adiós, mis amigos!!

 

Holy Shit, I Wrote a Poem

I used to write poetry.  Some of it was decent even. Got published. Got snaps at the local java houses.

Then I stopped.

Not sure why…just didn’t speak that way to the world anymore I guess. Or, it didn’t speak to me that way. Maybe that’s it.

People change, life changes. My truth comes out as prose these days.

But not this day.

It was there, swirling around in my post-alarm snoozing mind, like a blurry vision. When I tried to dismiss it, the words poked at me until I rose and fetched my pen.

Perhaps it came from the rain – this weather always makes me look inward (where things are not so grey), perhaps it was born from the chuckle I had yesterday when I pulled out my fuchsia umbrella and stuck it in my bag, just in case (because my new-found love of color still makes me grin and shake my head), or perhaps the consumptive thoughts of basking in sunshine with toes firmly burrowed into warm Mexican sand with my best friend (in a mere three days) drove  me to it.

Don’t know.   Don’t care.   Just wanted to share.

Hey, that rhymes…which is more than I can say for my poem ; )

Anyway, here it is. I’m not saying it’s any good, but it is from my soul:

i love you…

hard.

harder and stronger than i’ve dared or wanted to
love anything or anyone in all of my days

fiercly.

i love you with sharp intakes of breath, guttural moans
and rippling butterfly wings, far lower than my stomach

unapologetically.

i love you like a coyote loves the moon,
or as the tide does; i couldn’t resist your pull if i wanted to

chemically.

i love you with all i have, all that i am.
 my eyes shine with desire to love you as all i and we will yet become.

kicksass.

as you are now, today, without limit or condition
no matter what tomorrow brings, or next week, next year,
next lifetime…

i love you

Franklin Covey “Veronica” Binder Review

“You can call me anything you like, but my name is Veronica”

As you know, since converting over from another planner brand, I have been trying out various Franklin Covey binders.

I started with the Giada because I loved the teal color. However the ring size was not listed on the website, and it turned out to have only 1/2″ rings. After much deliberation, I decided to keep it in the hopes that I can use such a gorgeous binder if and when my job turmoil settles back down and I don’t need 2PPD refills.

Stop laughing.

Seeking to maintain some color yet have larger rings, I tried the Ava. That made it less than a week. Once Veronica arrived, I knew Ava would be going back. In the “old days” I just would have kept them all, but I’m trying to take a more minimalistic approach to life now, and that includes planners.

There was a time I only had ONE. I used it every day and simply bought new refills for it yearly. My goal now, while not necessarily to limit myself to just one binder for the rest of my life, is to keep it to one brand and one size. And just buy new refills every year.

Fortunately, Veronica will make that an easy goal to achieve; no more hoarding planners for this girl…I’ve found my perfect match.

The Veronica binder is the softest, most supple, buttery, yummy, scrumptious leather on the face of the earth. It is, quite honestly, hard to stop touching it.  If I was single, I’d probably sleep with it, but no way I’m explaining why I have my planner in bed with me to my boyfriend, so…

Oh, and it smells like heaven. If you think the aroma of fine leather is akin to heaven, which I do.

What I’m  saying is, it’s a nice effing planner.

It comes in black, charcoal and latte. I chose latte and unlike my reaction when the Ava arrived (which was advertised as “plum” and in actuality was more of a berry color), I was totally pleased with the texture and color of my new favorite binder.

And the rings….oh the rings.

1.125″ rings

I originally misread the website and thought it said 1.25″ rings, but in fact the rings are 1.125″. Close enough for me.  Anything over 1″ is perfectamundo as far as I’m concerned.

The inside front is a bit unconventional. Rather than the secretarial pocket being attached to the outer edge, as most binders are, this one has it attached to the interior edge, and there is a full slip pocket behind it.

I don’t know how I feel about this yet, as I fear stuff might fall out. Nothing HAS yet, mind you,but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t kvetch about something.

In previous binders with only one pen loop, with a conventional layout I could stick a 2nd pen in the secretarial pocket, but I can’t with this one. A small price to pay however, since I also have a cool pencil case in my bag.

There are 4 credit card pockets (and they are longer than usual because you don’t have to trim business cards to fit in them!) and an ID window on the front of the secretarial pocket. The full slip pocket is on the right hand side. I actually just discovered it, so haven’t found a use for it yet : )

I have a full year of Month on 2 Pages, four months of 2 Pages per day and four subject tabs with about 10 pieces of note paper behind each. As you can see, everything lays nice and flat, there is no page bunching and I even have ring room to spare. I’m betting I can fit 6 months of 2 Pages per Day comfortably.

Inside the back cover is a note pad pocket and one leather (non-elasticized) pen loop. Behind the note pad pocket, there is another full length slip pocket.

Although the Swing Pad came in handy and is a great idea, it’s very nice to have a dedicated note pad pocket again.  And how cool is it to know that I could put the Swing Pad back in, because I have so much ring room, and use this pocket for something else entirely?! Like, oh…I dunno…a passport perhaps? If someone were going to, say, Mexico in five days. Or something.

So yup, very happy with Veronica. If any of you have been following along on my Franklin Covey odyssey and toying with getting one yourself, I highly recommend this binder. It’s gorgeous, functional, impeccably made and the rings are like vice grips.

Perfectly aligned vice grips.

Just sayin’.

Head on over to the new FC group on  Flickr for more photos and as always, I welcome your comments and questions!